Check My Direction Check my inflection Steal my intention Reel my indenture Check my check my Check Check Check my end Lose my Erection Make my inflection Spinal Intention Oh Find my Find my Find my indentured one inflectured one I donkt really know why Im recording but Ijust wanna say thank you For blanketing me And pulling something out of me

God’s not catholic That has been buried under a lot He’s not catholic That’s stupid what makes you think you’re so special? He’s for all of us no matter how you talk to him. I’m excited to shine I’m excited to shine Oh! Get your heart broken. Lose someone you love! Uh, Um. Fall in love all over again! Find yourself in a hole that you don’t think you can get out of and get out of it. You cant love anybody, you are dangerous! Because you have no way of, you have no way of learning humility. You have no way of learning that other people suffer. And no way to use your suffering and theirs to get from one place to another. In Short you fail the human responsibility, which is to love eachother. I can’t decide what is grreater, my desire to express and be myself, or my fear of losing her. And my fear of having her blood on my hands. But are they even on my hands? Makes me weep to feel the history of you. Your flesh beneath my hands. In a time of so much loss. To feel the movement of your flesh beneath my palms as you twist and turn over to one side, to create a series of gestures, to reach around my neck to draw me nearer. All these moments’ll be lost in time like tears in rain. Son of a bitch God! Do you know Oliver? Bitch Oh, It’s Ol Oh shit! Are we gonna make it? I dont know. If I could attach our blood vessels so that we could become each other I would. And I want people to want me. I’ll take good care of it Oliver. Butcha cant want that, motherfucker. You cannot want that. Just do what makes you happy.. Bitch! And I’m not tryna train myself out of wanting love. But I’m tryna… I’m tryna train myself to just give myself that love, that I that I want. And to not feel like that it can only come from the other person. Or that it can also, you know, come from friends or like, habits I have or passions and not just like, one partner that I’m tryna squeeze everything out of. When I put my hands on your body, on your flesh, I feel the history of that body. All my great memories of Oliver. No body, no man, and no woman is precisely what they think they are - Love is where you find it. And you don’t know where it’ll carry you. And it is a terrifying thing, love. it’s the only human possibility but it’s terrifying. Now Caarre Ssshelpmeoff Loooooove Aw I love you so much I’m so proud of you, yeah I am. Oliver got so thoroughly dunked on so fast. He’s the male Mother Teresa Ahaha hA Ha hA Ha

Ya dont even know how I even sleep Ya won’t even slow down for me for me Ya wont even even even even Ya wont even even Slow Ya wont even even even even Ya wont even even Sloowwwwwwwwwwwwww down SloOoOoOoooooooooooww down Keep tryna skip town Wont even slow down Keep tryna wait around make you frown and Find No no round no no dont turn round You keep tryin to skip town tryin to build around wont even slow down make time for life Gogo Gogo then Slow down Slow down Slow down dont/please slowdown go then Askin for the Slooooooo0o0o0ooooow You won’t even.

Bad signal, white noise hang it up and call again. Sad single white boy all the flaking’s left him read And I know why Im talking to ghosts their body’s so far the thought of you’s close. Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system- well hang it up and call me superstitious baby. ghosts of maybe raise the dead. and Flake off the fake close ohhh I’m distant(ce) but I’d rather be - Yeah I'd rather be Dancin Dancin (rather be) Dancin Dancin (rather be) Dancin Dancin Ohhhh --- We know your time is valuable thank you for holding Someone will be with you as soon as possible Thank you for your call We appreciate your business And the opportunity To assist you Someone will be with you as soon as possible We know you We know you We know you value holding time Because time is valuable We know you want to feel valuable Because you are valuable We know you want someone Or Some time To hold you Even if its just a phone call Because that makes it feel possible The waiting makes it feel soon As soon as possible As soon as a as soon as --- Guessin again at your mood I- fixin my signal my noise n my reach. constructin your vision twice removed ghostly decisions make visible silence, you say im afraid of changing but changins afraid of me Everyone’s flakin oh but we will be Dancin (we will be) Dancin (we will be) Dancin (we will be) Dancin oh we'll be Dancin (we will be) Dancin (oh we will be) Dancin (we will be) Dancin Dancin round soon Dancin round and round and round and round and back again

I knew you then and I see you now. So why, don’t it ease you now? Tie, button shirt, khaki’s pleated down. Your lie has been seeded now. If I drew you how I knew you would you sue me for infringement. copyrighted pastey cuts, control exxings tightened buts. Only question I been makin new is why did I chosse me for savin Why did I choose me for savin over you? I knew you then and I loved you babe? So why did you grow away. I knew you then, you were with me then So I’ll stay in history then. If you drew me how you knew me would you fold me, name and threw me? Copy paper, tone, and ink. Check reflection at the sink. Only question key commanding you Is why did I choose me for saving over you? why did I choose me for saving over you? Over you I knew there was sometin over you baby I could see it but I couldn’t name it. So help me name it. Let the only thing we bring into this world be a name for what we couldn’t stop. How about somethin from the top? If we drew this how we knew it, could we hold it and renew it Oh my baby, can we stop? Hold me back before I drop. Old revisions keep correcting me. Eah Babe Why should I choose me for saving over me? Oh why should I choose me for savin over me? Loooover me. Run it again run it again run it again. Coo- uh- a- as- That was cool.

I been due for something Bout a year by now feel it coming round. So if I don’t lose someone Something or somehow, It’s me who’s goin down. And when I’m finally put under, Take these sunken wants And plant them in the soil. Doubtful, debted warnings Grow funny family stories. Ok but When I lose all my loved ones Will you still stick around? Try to hold me down? And if I learn to love my losing, Is the lesson finally found? Or did it hide away somehow Laughing, full and proud? A Cursed, Liminal Shroud. I’m tryna be- right out loud. Hold me baby- Hold my ground. Oh. Ohhhh Ooo Oh Oh Whoooaaaaauhhhhhh If I don’t lose someone something or somehow. Will you still come around?

I guess I been too tired refresh reload retry I press replay too blessed to pray I guess I been too right I hope no one will fight I been called liar and I been rewiring Since you hopped off my mind you seem to me more kind I been vibin Doing good dying I got visions from your visits of the future and its good to you Oh I guess. OH aOh god Oh god OoO0000E3W543OOGODFGAAAAaahhhh __~~ I guess I been too wired real friends read no reply I been caught tryin Kinda sought shynesss I guess I been on fire regret dont seem to lie Homies keep silent Homey means cryin I got visits from your visions of the future and I'm good to you. ---__~~~__--- ----v-----v-----

are you a gurl or giy or what do you like? what do you go by right now? make the mountains hum make rising sun you make where you go and where you come from I wont speak of you when you are gone. pronouns wont be used, no third person. listen to this song at night at home you can sing along as loud as you can. holy visions make shitty songs but make some conversation right, or wrong. are you a guy or girl or somethin real? what are you goin to right now?

Oh my baby Why I gotta feel so damn crazy? No one pays me Pays me for the pain im spendin lately No one pays me Pays me mind n I find that I mind, maybe. And I aint seen sunshine in 72 hours but dont cry cuz Sometimes I just feel so high, high above my life Dont you die on me baby Dont fret dont cry, aint healthy, stable - Youre really so able Come crawl out of the cradle. I like helpin u realize I love you babe but dont ask why. Try to save me I will recognize who finally saves me. Everyone hates me Hates me for not showin up enough lately. But you dont hate me. You don't even try to change me. And I aint told some lies Since heaven and you fought for me all night but I still never seen you cry. ...did I make you lie? Come on lie down with me baby Make up, dont fuss, dont be so selfish Im sorry I held this Now dont leave me helpless Dont you wanna see me cry? Hold me now, dont ask why. n Dont be precious u aint Odessa Dont get tensedup A break wont bend ya I know your anxious Defense offends ya Im tryin my best... Dont feel precious u aint Odessa Dont get tensedup A break wont bend ya I know your anxious Defense offends ya tryin my best for you Makin a mess of all of it Pervertedly watchin you spin I can’t confess you out of it love you most in memory memory... Oh my baby. My Babe.

It’s never so easy when it’s someone who cares It’s never It’s never It’s never It’s never It’s never just leaving when it’s someone who's there It’s never it’s never it’s never it’s never It’s never just bleeding when the blood’s runnin fair It’s never it’s never it’s never it’s never It’s never so freeing when your past’s unaware It’s never it’s never it’s never it’s never It's never so freein Oh Uh Ou And it’s always another that say’s its okay It’s always it’s always it’s always it’s always And it’s aways a lover that helps you forget It’s always it’s always it’s always it’s always It’s always your children that get you forgiven It’s always it’s always it’s always it’s always It's always a never that keeps you forever It’s always it’s always it’s always it’s always Evermind 'Evermind Evermind 'Evermind

If you can, if you could tell your future self something about like how you feel right now like the, the high you're experiencing right now, what would it be? Um- Oliver your voice sounds great. Noone ever thinks their voice sounds good when they hear it. But trust me, it sounds good. You know Oliver I don't like hearing my voice, my speaking voice recorded. But I know that that um That it still sounds good because other people say it does ~ So you shouldn't be afraid of being heard. What are you doing now? I'm going down And I'm And I'm getting I'm So fuckin down. Why oh why oh why oh Why did I ever leave o- No, Why did I wander to see what lies yonder? Why did I ever leave home? Why oh why oh why oh... Yeah but this is for other people to hear so they can see you and hear you. It's not so much for you. Okay. Yeah. It's a whole nother mystery now. It's a whole nother mystery now. Okay I've no end. Gotta rent. God send. Ima rare. God let. God send. Gotta rare I'm okay. God wait. God lay. I'm a sale Gotta have. Gotta ween. Gotta hey. Gotta have. Gotta live. Oh. Okay. ~ Check my intention Check my reflection Check my deception Check my direction Check my protection Check my direction ~ Whoa A shooting star in the same place as before.